


Green Bitch changed Unnamed Chat to Loser Squad

by Rats_As_Models



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adoptive Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, BIG CRIME >:), Cara | CaptainPuffy and Jschlatt are Siblings, Chaos, Clay | Dream & Technoblade Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), Crack, Dadza, Eret and Ranboo are Siblings, Fancy, Flirting, Fluff, Gen, Good Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Long-Haired Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Multiple Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Niki | Nihachu and Eret are siblings, Niki | Nihachu and Ranboo are Siblings, No Beta We Die Like Endermen, Panic Attacks, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Philza is the principal btw, Platonic Flirting, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Swearing, Techno tommy and wilbur are officially adopted by phil, Technoblade Has Braided Hair (Video Blogging RPF), Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, am i projecting?, and everyone hates it, big happy moments, but briefly - Freeform, but platonically, chat fic, crackfic, discord mwah mwah here ya go, do i care?, dont worry this is still crack!, dream flirts with everyone, everyones probably OOC, fight me on that i will win, george is tired all the time, go brrr thats the ted talk, group chat pog, he flirts with techno to piss him off, its funny, litterally, mwah, no, not in high detail, phil bodies people, screeching our lungs out, so many people get bodied, some valentines shit yakno, someone may or may not eat random shit off the side of the road, techno and dream are amongst the top students, thank you discord, the rest arent technically adopted but they act like they are, there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 9,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rats_As_Models/pseuds/Rats_As_Models
Summary: [Dream added 20 others to Unnamed Chat.][Dream changed Unnamed Chat to Loser Squad][Technoplane changed Loser Squad to Mortals.][Dadza changed Mortals to BEHAVE.]
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Past Relationships - Relationship, but nothing else - Relationship, flirting with the homies, homie flirting, lots of flirting but no romance
Comments: 338
Kudos: 1136
Collections: Sleuthing Server Chatfic Universe





	1. WHY DID YOU ADD MY FATHER?!

**Author's Note:**

> I got ~bored~ so have a chatfic.  
> This is loosely based off of the fic '[please stop texting me i'm in class]' by itisjosh!! Go check it out, its so GOOD
> 
> Dream | Green Bitch  
> George | gogy  
> Sapnap | snapchat  
> Karl | Ckarl  
> Quackity | Big Man  
> Tommy | Big Man 2.0  
> Tubbo | Tubbee  
> Wilbur | Incel (NOT)  
> Techno | Technoplane  
> Philza | Dadza  
> Niki | NihaCHU  
> Schlatt | Cuck Man  
> Fundy | Furry In Denial  
> Eret | Living Rainbow  
> Ranboo | Stoplight  
> ConnorEatsPants | Sanic  
> Puffy | Pirate Gay  
> Skeppy | Troll  
> BadBoyHalo | LANGUAGE  
> Minx | OI  
> Jack Manifold | Jack Manifall

_[Dream added 20 others to Unnamed Chat.]  
  
[Dream changed Unnamed Chat to Loser Squad]  
  
[Technoplane changed Loser Squad to Mortals.]  
  
[Dadza changed Mortals to BEHAVE.]  
  
_**Incel** **(NOT):** WHY DID YOU ADD MY FATHER  
**  
Dream:** :)  
  
_[Incel (NOT) changed Dream's name to Green Bitch]  
  
_**Green Bitch:** I'm coming for you.  
  
**Incel (NOT):** LKSANLJSNLW TECHNO WHLEP  
  
**Technoplane:** Mmm, nah. _  
  
__[Gogy changed BEHAVE to_ _Loser Squad]_  
  
**Green Bitch:** Thanks gogy ily <3333  
  
**Gogy:** Die.  
  
**Snapchat:** gogy do u love me 👉 👈   
  
**Gogy:** Perish.  
  
**Snapchat:** :(((((( dweam do u love me   
  
**Green Bitch:** ofc i do mwah mwah <333  
  
**Ckarl:** SAPNAP ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME??!?? :(((((  
  
**Snapchat:** ONONONONOO BBY its just my homie  
  
**Big Man 2.0:** DISGUSTING   
  
**Snapchat:** stfu child  
  
**Tubbee:** Hes a big mna!!!!  
  
**Big Man 2.0:** YEAH YOU TELL EM TUBBO  
  
**Dadza:** Aren't you all supposed to be in class?  
  
**Green Bitch:** About that...  
  
**Technoplane:** Dream do you want a sword or an axe  
  
**Green Bitch:** Axe, I'll be at the park behind Mr. Sparklez classroom, bring an extra item for some fun  
  
**Technoplane:** Alright.  
  
**Dadza:** Techno.  
  
**Technoplane:** Not right now father i'm defending my title  
  
_**2:45 PM  
  
**_**Green Bitch:** IS THAT A FUCKING FISHING ROD AND A BOW  
  
**Technoplane:** Run.  
  
**Stoplight:** what- what are you two doing  
  
**Technoplane:** Dueling.  
  
**Stoplight:** are you texting AND fighting?!  
  
**Green Bitch:** yes, anNDLKW-  
  
**Incel (NOT):** Whats happening?  
  
**Stoplight:** Techno wrapped a fishing rod line around Dreams foot and yanked him out of a tree-  
  
**Gogy:** kick his ass, dream  
  
**Green Bitch:** does breaking his nose count  
  
**Dadza:** WHAT  
  
**Big Man 2.0:** WHAT  
  
**Incel (NOT):** WHAT  
  
**Technoplane:** dick move, now I break your legs  
  
**Green Bitch:** come and catch me~  
  
**Technoplane:** Technoplane :)  
  
**Big Man:** WJBK@UB#JBRKJ#BFJ#BKJF NONO#NRO#@IBUBO$  
  
**Cuck man:** whats wrong flatty patty  
  
**Living Rainbow:** He has Techno trauma, hes scared of him  
  
**Big Man:** NO I MA AM NOT SCARED VEYR MUCH NOTN   
  
**Technoplane:** Quackity. Your sixth period is Mr. Skye, correct?  
  
**Big Man:** NONONONONONONO  
  
**Tubbee:** Theres no way hes in the thrid row in the clasroom, seconnd seat over rn, next to mee :D  
  
**Technoplane:** Thank you, Tubbo.  
  
**Big Man:** YOU SNITNCH YOU SITNCH I HAEBTE YOYU TUBBBOOOO  
  
**Tubbee:** :3  
  
_**3:27 PM  
  
**_**Dadza:** Techno, why did I just get a call from the police AND Mr. Skye saying that you kidnapped Quackity and ran 3 blocks with him on your back from the police?  
  
**Technoplane:** I know of no such thing.  
  
**Dadza:** Do you need me to pick you up from the station?  
  
**Technoplane:** please officer dipshit is here


	2. Wait, why am I named 'Stoplight'?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you very important discord person im on vc with you know who you are

_**5:01 AM  
  
**_**Stoplight:** Wait, why is my name Stoplight-  
  
**Big Man 2.0:** FUNKY EYEBALLS BIG MAN  
  
**Stoplight:** o-ok  
  
_[Big Man 2.0 changed Big Man 2.0's name to POGCHAMP]  
  
_**POGCHAMP:** LEMME FIX IT   
  
_[POGCHAMP changed Stoplight's name to Oreo]  
  
_**Oreo:** Thanks?? Also, Tommy, what are you doing up?  
  
**Incel (NOT):** CHILD.  
  
**Oreo:** Oh, I see  
  
**POGCHAMP:** WHY HELLO WILBY-   
  
FUCK, WILBUR*  
  
**Incel (NOT):** DID YOU JUST CALL ME FUCKIN WILBY????  
  
**Technoplane:** He did.  
  
**Dadza:** Go to sleep, all of you.  
  
I can hear you laughing, Tommy.  
  
**POGCHAMP:**...FINE  
  
**Incel (NOT):** When i come back i will  
  
**Dadza:** What?  
  
**Green Bitch:** hes helping me with smth  
  
**Technoplane:** Like what?  
  
**NinhaCHU:** Wilbur, don't cause too much chaos.  
  
**Incel (NOT):** ok, mom  
  
WAIT  
  
_[Incel (NOT) changed NinhaCHU's name to Rosemary]  
  
_**Incel (NOT):** hello mom  
  
**Technoplane:** mother.  
  
**POGCHAMP:** hi mom  
  
**Dadza:** for the LAST TIME.  
  
I AM NOT MARRIED TO THE FRIDGE.  
  
**Tubbee:** your not???  
  
**Rosemary:** Dream.  
  
**Green Bitch:** yee?  
  
**Rosemary:** Take away Wilburs phone until he gets back home, please.  
  
**Incel (NOT):** Already done. - Dream  
  
_[Rosemary changed Rosemary's name to Nikichu]  
  
__[Nikichu changed Incel (NOT)'s name to Salmon Fucker]  
  
_**Dadza:** pog  
  
**Technoplane:** pog  
  
**POGCHAMP:** POOOOOG  
  
__**10:00 AM**  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** WHCIH ONE OF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES-


	3. phil i found a dog can i keep it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you discord people mwah mwah

**9:54 AM  
  
****Cuck Man:** Who the FUCK just flew down the stairs????  
  
**Ckarl:** Did they have blue hair?  
  
**Cuck Man:** HOLY SHIT IS THAT A KNIF KJE  
  
**Ckarl:** yeah thats trashy, stay away, it told me it was gonna break its limbs to get out of geography  
  
**Cuck Man:** noted  
  
**Green Bitch:** TECHNO WHERE THE //FUCK// IS MY AXE????  
  
**Technoplane:** borrowed  
  
**Green Bitch:** Why.  
  
**Technoplane:** Quackity.  
  
**Big Man:** WHAT WHAT WHAT WHERE ARE IWYOIYO IS THAT MY WINDOWNWO  
  
**Technoplane:** Hey Quackity, do you know how humans used to hunt?  
  
**Big Man:** YEAHEYHAY I DO  
  
**Technoplane:** Humans have great endurance, ya know? They would just...  
  
hunt down their prey...  
  
steadily...  
  
and when the prey got tired...  
  
the humans would catch up...  
  
and eat them...  
  
**Ckarl:** oh fuck oh shit quackity dont leave me im scared  
  
**Technoplane:** Isn't that intresting?  
  
**Big Man:** Very INTREASTING YES VEYR YE YES  
  
GOOD THIGN IM HUMAN RIHGT???? LOTS OF ENDURANCE YES ISIRJD  
  
**Technoplane:** Thats true...  
  
**Big Man** **:** techno  
  
techno please  
  
im so sorry put the axe down  
  
**Technoplane:** Are you tired, Quackity?  
  
**Tubbee:** this is deffo flerting  
  
**Ckarl:** techno techno techno please please spare me  
  
**Dadza:** Karl, update on Quackity.  
  
**Ckarl:** oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead  
  
**LANGUAGE:** <\-----  
  
**Cuck Man:** Don't kill my advisor, asshole, i need him  
  
**Technoplane:** No promises  
  
**Dadza:** Schlatt.  
  
**Cuck Man:** Yes sir?  
  
**Dadza:** What the fuck are you carrying.  
  
**Cuck Man:** A drink?  
  
**Dadza:** IN SCHOOL?!  
  
**Cuck Man:**...yeah?  
  
wh- STAY AYWYAUIQ  
  
**Gogy:** Phil just bodyslammed him. He was holding a bottle of whiskey.  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** Its a prank water bottle filled with apple juice  
  
**Dadza:** That would have been important to know before i tackled him.  
  
**Cuck Man:** YOU FUCKING BODIED ME  
  
**Snapchat:** techno did you hurt my bby  
  
**Technoplane:** Karl? No. Quackity? :)  
  
**Green Bitch:** stop stealing my smiley trademark and get your ass to gym  
  
**Technoplane:** Whats happening in gym  
  
**Furry In Denial:** DREAM DONT YOU FUCKI G DARE  
  
**Green Bitch:** The FitnessGram PACER Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. 

**Technoplane:** Die.

 **Green Bitch:** ily2 techie  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** stop flirting with my brother  
  
**Green Bitch:** did you punch eachother unconcious the moment you locked eyes?? no, so stfu  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** wh-  
  
**Technoplane:** Hate at first sight, Wilbur.  
  
**Dadza:** Don't start a brawl.  
  
**Green Bitch:** No promises  
  
**Furry In Denial:** hes chasing techno around with a speaker blasting the 'Blitz' parody  
  
**Dadza:** LMAO ok  
  
**Technoplane:** DADPLEASE  
  
_**6:36 PM  
  
**_**Green Bitch:** anyone wanna help me break into the abandoned walmart to see if theres any cool shit  
  
**Technoplane:** Count me in  
  
Eret wants in as well  
  
**POGCHAMP:** IM INNN  
  
**Troll:** yessisss  
  
**Green Bitch:** Techno how do you know Eret wants to come  
**  
****Technoplane:** He's braiding my hair because Wilbur is busy with his theater class  
  
**Green Bitch:** Oh, pog  
  
_**10:20 PM  
  
**_**Green Bitch:** phil  
  
**Dadza:** I'm driving to the station now.  
  
**Green Bitch:** bring your wallet  
  
**Dadza:** Why?  
  
**Green Bitch:** well  
  
**POGCHAMP:** TECHNO PUNCHED A COP  
  
**Green Bitch:** it was officer dipshit, and he started it by bringing up the orphanage  
  
**Dadza:** Fair, I would've punched him as well. Hang in there.  
  
_**4:20 AM  
  
**_**Technoplane:** phil i found a dog can i keep it  
  
**Snapchat:** hehe weed 


	4. FUCKING FLOOF?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a message ONLY for my discord (yall can read too ig /lh)
> 
> yes, some of these interactions are based after ours, what of it  
> (yes im giving my BANGER lines to tubbo and techno, they share the burden of epic minds)

**10:49 AM  
  
****Dadza:** Yes Techno, you can keep the dog. I just took it to the vet, He's perfectly healthy.  
  
**Technoplane:** Thank you, father. I shall keep this act of kindness in mind. Should you need me, I will be at your side.  
  
**POGCHAMP:** STOP BEING CRYPTIC TECHNO, NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOU BIG MAN  
**  
****Tubbee:** I understann him!  
  
**Technoplane:** (Understand) See, Tommy?  
  
**Tubbee:** thanks tech!! :3  
  
**Technoplane:** Think nothing of it.  
  
**Living Rainbow:** Hey, why doesn't Bad talk here?  
  
**Troll:** he doess sometiems  
  
**Nikichu:** He mutes the chat sometimes, occasionally he'll pop in.  
  
**LANGUAGE:** Hello!  
  
**Living Rainbow:** Hello Bad <3  
  
**Troll:** HYE BACC TF OFF ERT  
  
**LANGUAGE:** Skeppy be nice >:(  
  
**Living Rainbow:** I'm not trying to steal your man, skeppy  
  
**Troll:** good.  
  
**Jack Manifall:** ffs i've been getting constant messages nonstop SHUT THE FUCK UP  
  
**Furry In Denial:** JHACK MANIFOLL  
  
**Jack Manifall:** oh fuck  
  
**Furry In Denial:** I see your crossing a bridge, friend  
  
**Technoplane:** you're*  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** stfu english major  
  
**Dadza:** Hes??? Not in college??   
  
**Salmon Fucker:** he will be soon  
  
plus he acts like an english major  
  
**Living Rainbow:** fundy don't push jack off the bridge im right next to him  
  
**Jack Manifall:** Fundy, you are nowhere near me  
  
what the fuck is that noise  
  
**Furry In Denial:** :)))))))))))  
  
**Jack Manifall:** fundy, fundy nOWNLK  
  
**Dadza:** Eret.  
  
**Living Rainbow:** Fucker leapt up from the underside of the bridge screeching like a wild animal and chased Jack across it  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** awww, my son is embracing his furry roots <33  
  
**Furry In Denial:** SUHUT TH FUCK UP YORY NOT MY DAED  
  
**Technoplane:** That's no way to treat your father, Fundy.  
  
**Furry In Denial:** i'll turn you into fucking bacon

_**2:11 PM** _

  
**Green Bitch:** GOGY GOGY SOMEONE HELP HEKPP  
  
**Dadza:**???  
  
**Gogy:** ^^^  
  
**Snapchat:** whats wrong dweamie  
  
**Green Bitch:** GET THE CAMERAS IRL MANHUNT  
  
**Technoplane:** WITHOUT ME?!  
  
**Green Bitch:** ITS OFFICER DIPSHIT AND HIS APTROLL SQUAD  
  
HAHAHHAHA IM ON SCHLATTS STREET  
  
**Cuck Man:** _[Image sent: IRLManhunt.png]  
  
_**Gogy:** Going to The Woods, or the woods?  
  
**Green Bitch:** The Woods, 10 minutes, if the cops arent there make out with me  
  
**Gogy:** I'm bringing a camera but im not kissing you  
  
**Green Bitch:** not even a lil tongue  
  
**Snapchat:** gogy kiss me gogy   
  
**Ckarl:** i'll kiss you sappynappy  
  
**Snapchat:** call me that again and we're breaking up  
  
**Big Man:** i'll kiss you karl  
  
**Snapchat:** EY EY BACK TF OFF MY MANS  
  
**Big Man:** i'll kiss you as well  
  


_**2:29 PM**_  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** DREAM WHAT HE FUCK  
  
**Green Bitch:** LET ME IN  
  
**Technoplane:** Do Not.  
  
**Green Bitch:** HURRRY HURRRY  
  
THE COPS KNEW I WAS GOING TO The Woods SO THEY MADE A BLOCKADE  
  
I NEED A NEW ROUTE  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** backyard gate is unlocked  
  
**Green Bitch:** thanks  
  
**Technoplane:** IS THAT OFFICER DIPSHIT  
  
**Green Bitch:** YES  
  
**Technoplane:** Count me on your side  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** _[Image sent: TechnoplanedOfficerDipshit.jpeg]  
  
_**Dadza:** Techno, did you just assault a policeman  
  
**Technoplane:** Dream you got any extra weapons  
  
right behind you btw  
  
**Green Bitch:** Nah, use your fists, but keep running  
  
phil it was officer dipshit  
  
**Dadza:** Yes, it was Officer Dipshit, but that doesn't give you the right to assault him.  
  
**POGCHAMP:** TO BE FAIR DIPSHIT ASSAUTLED HIM FIRST  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** Many times  
  
**Dadza:** I know that. But he is still an officer, and you can get in big trouble for that.  
  
**Technoplane:** the cops in this town dont care anymore  
  
**Gogy:** _[Image sent: Dream &TechnoRunning.png]  
  
_**Green Bitch:** awww you got my good side gogy <33 mwah mwah  
  
**Gogy:** Stop texting and continue running, idiot.  
  
_**5:55 PM  
  
**_**Furry In Denial:** has anyone heard from dream and techno  
  
**Green Bitch:** we vibin  
  
**Cuck Man:** IN MY ATTIC  
  
**Technoplane:** running around police officers and dueling for 3 hours gets tiring, schlatt  
  
**Big Man:** SHCLATT TECHNONS IN YOUR ATTICH AN YOU DIDNT TELL MEE??!?  
  
**Cuck Man:** you left before I knew they were there  
  
**Dadza:** I believe the cops called the hunt off, boys. Techno, come back home. Dream, you can come as well.  
  
**Green Bitch:** first one there gets to name your new dog, tech  
  
**Technoplane:** 1) You are right next to me, shut up.  
  
2) I'm in.  
  
**Cuck Man:** DID YOU JUST BREAK MY WINDOW AND JUMP OUT?!  
  
**Technoplane:** technoplane :)  
  
**Green Bitch:** YOU FUCKER THATS CHEATING  
  
**Technoplane:** YOU NEVER SAID I COULDNT DO IT  
  
**Green Bitch:** OH YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** what did tech do?  
  
**Technoplane:** DREAM DO NOT TELL MY BROTHER  
  
**Green Bitch:** fine, but i expect compensation  
  
**Technoplane:** The compensation is not getting beaten into the ground  
  
**Green Bitch:** i hate you.  
  
**Technoplane:** :)  
  
Dogs name is Floof  
  
**Green Bitch:** HOW THE FUCK  
  
**POGCHAMP:** FUCKING FLOOF?!


	5. Cookies?? count me in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catmaid Hbomb appearance
> 
> HBomb | HBitch

_**1:06 AM  
  
**_ _[Green Bitch added HBitch to Loser Squad]  
  
_ **HBitch:** EEEEEYYYYY Hello  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** Wazza  
  
 **HBitch:** Hey fundy we have 1st period together right  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** yeah, why  
  
 **HBitch:** can i have a pencil, im completely out and i dont wanna go to walmart at 1 in the morning  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** when we get into class?  
  
 **HBitch:** yeah  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** sure, but you have to be my maid if i do  
  
 **HBitch:** Bet. Outfit and all?  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** Yeah lol  
  
 **HBitch:** :))  
  
 **Green Bitch:** fundy i hope you know he's completely serious  
  
 _ **8:12 AM  
  
**_ **Technoplane:** why the fuck is HBomb in a maid dress with cat ears  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** oh god oh fuck i didn't think you were serious  
  
 _[HBitch changed HBitch's name to Catmaid]  
  
_ **Catmaid:** Master! Master! Where are you?  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** HBOMB WHAT IN THE FUCK  
  
 **Catmaid:** UwU  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** I just heard HBomb deadass say 'Hey Master do you want a nuzzle wuzzle'  
  
fundy is ignoring him  
  
'master you arent talking did you put on a muzzle wuzzle'  
  
'your hard to read like a puzzle wuzzle'  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** i hate everything im skipping class take your fucking pencil  
  
 **Dadza:** Fundy, don't skip class.  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** my son has become a delinquent, oh the pain  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** shut up father  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** keep that up and i'll disown you  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** dw Fundy i'll adopt you <3  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** thank you eret  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** betrayal </3  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** cry about it  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** crying, sobbing as we speak  
  
 **Catmaid:** phil im going to follow fundy everywhere is that ok  
  
 **Dadza:** Do it lol  
  
 _ **12:16 PM  
  
**_ **Catmaid:** master where did you go owo  
  
you need your punishment  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** shut up shut up SHUT UP  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Context: fundy walked into the lunchroom while HBomb said 'when master gets back we gotta give him a spanking' and then immediately left   
**  
****Gogy:** Fundy you get your ass back here and control your catmaid  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Techno can I braid your hair again? I got a really cool idea  
  
 **Technoplane:** Yeah, sure.  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** YOU HAVE A STUDY GROUP WITH US THO, YOUR THE ONLY SMART ONE  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** I promise i wont miss it  
  
 _ **1:26 PM  
  
**_ **Salmon Fucker:** ERET YOU MISSED THE FUCKIN STUDY GROUP  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** i apologize, i was busy with techno's hair  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** because of you i will never trust again  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** We have a whole week to do it  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** Eret, I hate to break it to you, but you fucked up.  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** im?? sorry???  
  
 **Green Bitch:** eret come to the dark side and help us study, we have cookies  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Cookies?? count me in  
  
 **Tubbee:** ERET ENOOOO DD:  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** BETRAYAL  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** NOOOOO  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** ERET YOU TWO-FACED BITCH  
  
HBOMB I CHOOSE YOU GO FIGHT ERET  
  
 **Catmaid:** YES MASTER  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Dream help  
  


_[Green Bitch added Punz to Loser Squad]_

  
**Green Bitch:** _@Gogy @Snapchat @Punz_ Assemble  
  
 **Gogy:** Sure  
  
 **Snapchat:** count me in  
  
 **Punz:** Mhmm  
  
 _[Punz left Loser Squad]  
  
_ **Salmon Fucker:** what the fuck is that noise  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** UUUUUUM  
  
WILBUR HELP  
  
 **Tubbee:** ATTTTAAACK WE R UDNER ATTACCC NWJWKK@W  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** HBOMB PROTECT ME EKNKWLNK  
  
 **Green Bitch:** GET AMBUSHED FUCKERS  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** ERET HOW COULD YOU  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** I guess it was never meant to be


	6. THE CHOMPY FUCKER BIT ME AGAIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diplore :)

_**4:20 PM  
  
**_ **Technoplane:** father  
  
 **Dadza:** Yes?  
  
 **Green Bitch:** i told you to call me daddy   
  
**Technoplane:** dream stfu  
  
father i need you here please  
  
 **Dadza:** Where?  
  
 **Technoplane:** officer dipshit, the park  
  
 **Dadza:** Did you punch him again, Tech?  
  
 **Technoplane:** no but  
  
memories  
  
he started yelling at me  
  
help  
  
 **Dadza:** I'll be right there, ok?  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** I'm comin with  
  
 **Technoplane:** please hurry  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** COUNT ME IN  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** father step on the gas he cant run fast enough  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** TRY AGAIN BITCH  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** In the wise words of Philza Minecraft: DID YOU JUST JUMP ON THE FUCKING CAR ROOF?!  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** MAYBE  
  
 **Technoplane:** he wont leave me alone  
  
im not angry this time  
  
scared  
  
help  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** We're here  
  
 **Oreo:** I don't wanna intrude, but whats the story behind Officer Dipshit?  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Ok, time for Dipshit Lore:  
  
So. Me, Techno, Wilbur and Tommy were all in the same orphanage. Me and Techno were obviously the best couple there, but those three were still like brothers.  
Because of Techno and Me, along with the orphanage's //terrible// track record, it had a couple cops watching the kids and stuff. Bleh. One of those cops was Officer Dipshit.  
He was a terrible person back then. Still is! He yelled at the kids alot, punished us for no reason, even hit a couple. (Including Techno) So now everyone hates him :D  
  
 **Oreo:** oh, wow-  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** _[Image sent: PhilVSDipshit.png]  
  
_ **Green Bitch:** PHIL YOU JUST BODIED HIM  
  
POGGERS  
  
 **Technoplane:** no me and dream were not dating in the orphanage  
  
 **Green Bitch:** not officially <3  
  
 **Technoplane:** _[Image sent: Blender.jpeg]  
  
_ **Green Bitch:** </3  
  
Villain arc now, fight me  
  
 **Technoplane:** Bet  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** we're getting McDonalds meet us there  
  
 _ **9:45 AM  
  
**_ **Green Bitch:** WHAT THE FUCK  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Whats wrong dreamy  
  
 **Green Bitch:** SOME BLUE-HAIRED FUCKER JUST BIT ME?!  
  
 **Ckarl:** thats Trashy, they bite everyone except for East  
  
 **Green Bitch:** THE FUCKER HAS SHARP TEETH  
  
 _ **12:12 AM  
  
**_ **Technoplane:** _[Image sent: TheChompyFucker.jpeg]  
  
_ **Green Bitch:** THE CHOMPY FUCKER BIT ME AGAIN  
  
HOW THE FUCK IS IT SO SNEAKY  
  
I HATE THIS ITS BEEN HAPPENING EVERY TIME THEY SEE ME  
  
 **Technoplane:** Oh no, does Dream have a weakness  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Other than you? no <3  
  
 **Technoplane:**...  
  
 _[Technoplane added Trashy to Loser Squad]  
  
_ _[Technoplane changed Trashy's name to The Chompy Fucker]  
  
_ **Technoplane:** _@Green Bitch_ :)  
  
 **The Chompy Fucker:** sup  
  
 **Green Bitch:** NONONONONO DONT WYOU FUCKIF G DARE  
  
 **The Chompy Fucker:** I see you  
  
i wonder how you would taste when cooked medium rare  
  
 **Green Bitch:** PLEASE NEOO NONO I :PLEAZE  
  
 _[Nikichu removed The Chompy Fucker]  
  
_ **Technoplane:** Damn.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** THANK YOU NIKI THANK YOU  
  
 **Snapchat:** hey dream :)  
  
 **Snapchat:** _[Image sent: SneakyChompyFucker.png]  
  
_ **Green Bitch:** AAAAAAAAA  
  
 _ **6:48 PM  
  
**_ **Living Rainbow:** Hey do you guys wanna have a movie night?  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** TRASUER PLANET?!?!?!?  



	7. Egg Cult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how in the FUCK is this 3k words what

_**7:45 AM  
  
**_ **LANGUAGE:** Hey I'm gonna bring The Egg to school :D!! Come say hi!  
  
 **Dadza:** What??  
  
 **Troll:** EGGGG?!???  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Egg Cult  
  
 **LANGUAGE:** :3  
  
 _ **8:36 AM  
  
**_ **Gogy:** Why is skeppy dressed in red and being emo?  
  
 **LANGUAGE:** oh no!! I didn't mean to DD:  
  
 **Troll:** Didn't mean to what?  
  
 **Gogy:** What the fuck  
  
 **Snapchat:** ^^^ He can spell correctly?  
  
 **Green Bitch:** _[Image sent: RedSkeppy.png]  
  
_ **Dadza:** Bad, did you start a cult in the school  
  
 **LANGUAGE:** uuuuuuuh  
  
uwu  
  
 **Dadza:** sigh  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** i'm gonna take the egg  
  
 **Troll:** dont you dare, child  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** THE FUCK YOU SAY BITCH  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Tommy don't fight him, starting fights is technos thing  
  
 **Technoplane:** Speaking of fights  
  
 **Green Bitch:** DID YOU JUST TECHNOPLANE ME WITH A SWORD  
  
 **Technoplane:** Less texting, more dueling.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** fine fine i guess i have time to beat your ass into the ground  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** dadza its not what it looks like  
  
 **Dadza:** Really?  
  
 **Tubbee:** its not i can vocuh  
  
 **Dadza:** TOMMY.  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** UUUUUH AHAHAH RUN  
  
 **Tubbee:** _[Image sent: Philbodiedtommy.png]  
  
_ **Cuck Man:** another day, another victim gets bodied  
  
his bodied count only grows  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Did you just make a fucking pun  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Maybe I did, Wilbur  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** You deserve to die for that  
  
 **Cuck Man:** <3 ily2 baby  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** suck my dick  
  
WAIT  
  
NO  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Gladly  
  
 **Technoplane:** Ew  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Eyes on me, lover boy  
  
 **Technoplane:** Ew x2  
  
 **Snapchat:** dream i thought george was your lover boy  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Can't I have multiple  
  
 **Gogy:** No.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Awww jealous gogy  
  
 **Technoplane:** Focus on the fight, Dream  
  
 **LANGUAGE:** _[Image sent: Egg.jpeg]  
  
_ Focus on the egg! :3  
  
 **Troll:** EGG  
  
 **Dadza:** No, you aren't starting a club for the egg.  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Egg Club would be funny ngl  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** upvote  
  
 _ **1:06**_ **PM  
  
Big Man:** TECHNO PLEASE  
  
 **Technoplane:** Oh Quackity, where did you go quackity  
  
 **Tubbee:** this is deffo flerting  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** ^^^^  
  
 **Big Man:** AAA TEHCN PLEASE YOU HAVE VERY PRETTY EYES  
  
 **Technoplane:**...what.  
  
 **Tubbee:** they are jsut starnig  
  
Big Q is now flerting  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** _[Image sent: confusedTechno.jpeg]  
  
_ **Salmon Fucker:** I ship it  
  
 **Cuck Man:** EYY EY EY YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY MAN TECHNO  
  
 **Big Man:** STFU IM STRESSED I FLIRT WHEN STRESSED  
  
AND WE DATED FOR 2 WEEKS IN 7TH GRADE GET OVER IT  
  
 **Cuck Man:** no<3  
  
 **Green Bitch:** don't flirt with my sworn rival, we still havent finished our 60k slowburn enemies to lovers  
  
 _[Technoplane left Loser Squad]  
  
_ _[Salmon Fucker added Technoplane]  
  
_ **Salmon Fucker:** you cannot escape this, brother  
  
 **Technoplane:** fuck you, i'm going to do my homework   
  
**Dadza:** at least one of you does  
  
 _ **5:40 PM  
  
**_ _[Cuck Man changed Big Man's name to flatty patty]  
  
_ **Cuck Man:** He's currently in the cuck shed so i have full rights to do so  
  
 **Dadza:** In the what.  
  
 **Cuck Man:** I built a cuck shed behind the school  
  
he got in it of his own will


	8. Cuck Shed :)

_**8:40 AM  
  
**_ **Dadza:** _@Snapchat_ Why the FUCK is the lunchroom on fire?  
  
 **Snapchat:** Wasn't me, blame Trashy  
  
 **Green Bitch:** DO NOT SPEAK THE CHOMPY FUCKERS NAME  
  
IM STILL RECOVERING  
  
 **Tubbee:** i'm in their gruopchat, can confim, was trashhy  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Phil they're delivering an epic monologue because we're stuck in the lunchroom together  
  
hurry or I'm sticking it in the Cuck Shed  
  
  
 **Dadza:** One moment.  
  
 **Cuck Man:** _[Image sent: ChompyFuckerBodied.png]  
  
_ **Salmon Fucker:** Drag em onto the football field  
  
 **Dadza:** How the FUCK are its teeth so sharp  
  
 **Green Bitch:** SEE?!  
  
i'm gonna go laugh at its misery  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** WHAT WAS THAT SCREECHING NOISE, IT WAS LOUDER THAN ME  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** That would be Trashy  
  
It is now viciously attacking anything that comes near  
  
Dream, Dream do not-  
  
 **Technoplane:** Was that Dream screaming in pain?  
  
 **Cuck Man:** He got too close and got bit  
  
 **Gogy:** IRL Manhunt but its just Dream running from Trashy in fear  
  
 _[Tubbee added Rosemom to Loser Squad]  
  
_ **Dadza:** Hello, Rosemary  
  
 **Technoplane:** Mother.  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Hi mom  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** HELLOOOO MOM  
  
 **Rosemom:** Hello! Phil, I would like to apologize for Trashy's actions, It is currently very delirious.   
  
**Dadza:** Trashy will be forgiven, this time.   
  
**Cuck Man:** Did you just fucking smack them upside the head?  
  
hot  
  
 _[Rosemom left Loser Squad]  
  
_ **Green Bitch:** IM FREEEEEE  
  
 **Technoplane:** Shame.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Aww do you like seeing me captive bby?   
  
**Technoplane:** I'm going to punch you.  
  
 **Snapchat:** He'd probably like it  
  
 **Tubbee:** Where's Big Q?  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Cuck Shed :)  
  
 ** _10:58 AM  
  
_** **Flatty Patty:** I'M FREE YOU FUCKS  
  
WAIT WHO THE FUCK CHANGED MY NAME  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Hey flatty patty, come help me with a project  
  
 **Flatty Patty:** i'm going to fucking kill you  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Yeah yeah I wanna fuck myself too now get over here  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Still a better love story than Twilight  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Daddy Dream, we're a better love story than Twilight  
  
 **Technoplane:** Don't flirt with my sworn rival, we haven't finished our 60k slowburn enemies to worse enemies  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Techno, you do care!! <3  
  
 **Technoplane:** Nevermind, flirt with him all you want.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** </3  
  
Nevermind, I have gogy <333333  
  
 **Gogy:** No.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Ily2 my sweetiepie honeybun sugarplum  
  
 **Snapchat:** _@Ckarl_ Now i'm lonely, come cuddle me  
  
 **Ckarl:** Aren't you supposed to be taking a test?  
  
 **Snapchat:** And? Cuddle me, rn >:(  
  
what I commited arson to get out of the test  
  
 **Dadza:** Do Not.  
  
 **Gogy:** It would be funny  
  
 **Snapchat:** Endorsement from Gogy!!!  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** Hey snapnap  
  
 **Snapchat:** What.  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** You know how you stole Henry?  
  
And then KILLED him?

 **Snapchat:** And I'd do it again, bop bop  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** Meet me at the pond around the corner from the school at 4 pm Sharp  
  
 **Snapchat:** Heh, fine.  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** Bring Reinforcements, BITCH  
  
 **Snapchat:** If you say so, child  
  
 _ **4:26 PM  
  
**_ **LANGUAGE:** _[Image Sent: TheBlade.jpeg]  
  
_ **Snapchat:** DREAM YOU BETRAYED ME  
  
 **Green Bitch:** It was funny  
  
 **Snapchat:** TECHNO YOU ALMOST KILLED ANT  
  
 **Technoplane:** He should've dodged.  
  
 **Snapchat:** And what the fuck is up the funny outfits? First technos regal getup, and Dreams stupid mask??  
  
 **Green Bitch:** The Blade and I have to be ~Dramatic~ Sapnap  
  
 **Technoplane:** We can agree on that.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** <3 Most dramatic couple  
  
 **Technoplane:** _@Gogy_ get your man.  
  
 **Gogy:** Dreamie 🥺  
  
 **Green Bitch:** OH FUCKING WOE?!?! HI GOGY MWAH MWAH  
  
 **LANGUAGE:** <\-----  
  
 **Gogy:** Never say 'oh fucking woe' again i stg  
  
  



	9. Face me for 1k, coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To a certain person who is also writing a chatfic in my discord server:
> 
> hehe chomp chomp <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All messages, unless stated otherwise (Ex: [Direct message: __ to ____]) are in the Group Chat!

_**2:44 AM  
  
**_ _[Direct Message: Technoplane to Dadza]  
  
_ **Technoplane:** Father.  
  
 **Dadza:** I'm in the living room, You can come down and talk to me.  
  
 **Technoplane:** Not home  
  
 **Dadza:** sigh  
  
What is it  
  
 **Technoplane:** If you hear excessive amounts of screaming at school, ignore it  
  
also a certain Chompy Fucker won't be in their classes today  
  
 **Dadza:** Noted. Now, get home and sleep.  
  
  
 _ **10:21 AM  
  
**_ **Furry In Denial:** Who the hell is screaming so loud?  
  
 **Nikichu:** Dream. Somehow Trashy found his first period, and is now chasing him around screaming something about eating his legs.  
  
 **Technoplane:** Ah, it actually did it.  
  
 **Nikichu:** Did what?  
  
 **Technoplane:** Oh look at that, math, a very intriguing subject that I should pay attention to.  
  
 _[Technoplane left Loser Squad]  
  
_ _[Nikichu added Technoplane to Loser Squad]  
  
_ **Nikichu:** Answer me, or your dog will have a new home with me by tommorow.  
  
 **Technoplane:** I may or may not have gotten Dream's class schedule and given it to The Chompy Fucker.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** TECHNO YOU DID WHAT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE IM GOING TO KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP  
  
 **Technoplane:** <3 Glad you enjoyed my gift, dear.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** what  
  
wait  
  
help  
  
malfunction  
  
 **Nikichu:** He's now staring at his phone. Trashy is chewing on his arm.   
  
**Snapchat:** YOU BROKE MY HOMIE </33  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** TECHNO THAT WAS FUCKING SMOOTH WHAT THE HELL  
  
 **flatty patty:** DAMN WHY DONT YOU FLIRT WITH ME LIKE THAT MI AMOR  
  
 **Technoplane:** They'll never find your body.  
  
 **flatty patty:** WAIT NO-  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Heart been broke so many times </3  
  
 **flatty patty:** FUCK OFF SCHLATT IM CURRENTLY RUNNING FOR MY LIFE  
  
 **Green Bitch:** TECHNO CALL OFF THE CHOMPY FUCKER  
  
PLEASE  
  
PLEASE  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Quackity i'm starting to think you're trying to make me jealous  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Please shut the fuck up  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Make me, my love  
  
 **Dadza:** Stop flirting and pay attention in class  
  
 **Nikichu:** Dream is still screaming.   
  
**Dadza:** lmao good for him  
  
 _ **1:06 PM  
  
**_ **Green Bitch:** MY ARM   
  
MY POOR ARM  
  
HOW THE FUCK ISNT IT BLEEDING  
  
 **Technoplane:** The Chompy Fucker is very precise. If it doesn't want you to bleed, you won't bleed.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** i fucking hate you  
  
 **Technoplane:** The feeling is mutual.  
  
 **Ckarl:** _@Green Bitch @Technoplane_ Jimmy says if you guys duel during the assembly tommorow he'll give the winner 1k   
  
**Dadza:** Do it, its a police officer assembly, and i dont wanna sit through that  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Jimmy?  
  
 _[Ckarl added Mr. Beast to Loser Squad]  
  
_ **Ckarl:** Jimmy!  
  
 **Green Bitch:** MR BEASSSTTT COUNT ME THE FUCK IN  
  
 _[Technoplane changed Technoplane's name to 2018-2020 National Fencing Champion]  
  
_ **2018-2020 National Fencing Champion:** Count me in, I want the clout.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Oh you flexing motherfucker-  
  
 _[Green Bitch changed 2018-2020 National Fencing Champion's name to Peppa Pig]  
  
_ **Peppa Pig:** The duel is now to the death. Watch your back.  
  
 **Green Bitch:** Cool  
  
wouldn't it be funny if I skipped school and rewired my neighbors electricity  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** Face me for 1k, coward


	10. Overruled.

_**7:32 AM  
  
**_**Oreo:** Why are the front doors to the school missing?  
  
**Green Bitch:** i bet it was that red fucker in the sweater  
  
**Dadza:** DAMMIT Now I have to talk to the other schools principal   
  
**Jack Manifall:** The other school is missing doors as well  
  


_**10:35 PM  
  
**_**Dadza:** Assembly time, get ready for the duel  
  
**Peppa Pig:** father help  
  
i brought a shiny sword  
  
trashy has targeted me  
  
**Green Bitch:** GET FUCKED   
  
**Peppa Pig:** I have fallen to my own creation, like Frankenstein and his monster. My end has been brought on by my own hubris.  
  
**Green Bitch:** Your suffering is like music to my ears darling  
  
**Peppa Pig:** I'm going to rip you into pieces  
  
**Snapchat:** I'm sick whats happening with the duel  
  
**Gogy:** _[Image sent: TheDuel.png]  
  
_They're doing the best out of 10 rounds, the cops aren't happy  
  
**Ckarl:** Oooh!  
  
**Living Rainbow:** Techno brought a fishing rod, Dream brought a crossbow.   
  
**flatty patty:** THECNO DONT COME NEAR ME PLEASE  
  
**Peppa Pig:** Don't get in my way.  
  
**Gogy:** You are quite literally jumping into the fucking crowd  
  
**Green Bitch:** Maybe the crowd shouldn't be there

 **Dadza:** Less talking, More impaling  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** Damn, calm down Killza  
  
_**11:49 PM  
  
**_**Snapchat:** Duel progress  
  
**Tubbee:** Blade won!!!  
  
**Living Rainbow:** Techno is now gloating, Dream is being a pissy bitch  
  
**Peppa Pig:** Most of my victory was due to the fact Dream started chasing some dude in a sweater around screaming about doors.  
  
**Green Bitch:** ERET STFU   
  
_[Gogy changed Green Bitch's name to Piss Man]  
  
_**Gogy:** Now your name matches the color of your clothing  
  
**Piss Man:** </3 this is so sad  
  
**Ckarl:** alexa play despacito  
  
**flatty patty:** MY TIME?  
  
**Cuck Man:** i love it when you sing in spanish, I do, but if you start singing despacito i will put you in the cuck shed and scam your family  
  
**flatty patty:** worth it  
  
**Cuck Man:** Techno, can I ask a favor of you  
  
**Peppa Pig:** Sure.  
  
**Cuck Man:** Quackity is currently next to me in the library, west side, by the windows.  
  
**flatty patty:** ONONOONONON  
  
**Peppa Pig:** Count me in.  
  
_**12:22 PM  
  
**_**Cuck Man:** FLATTY PATTY DID YOU JUST CHEAT ON ME  
  
**flatty patty:** IM SORRY IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO  
  
**Salmon Fucker:** ?  
  
**Living Rainbow:** _[Image sent: ScreamingTechno.jpeg]  
  
_what did you do to the blade  
  
**Cuck Man:** HE GOT SO SCARED HE ASKED THE FUCKER OUT ON A DATE  
  
**Piss Man:** QUACKITY YOU KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS AWAY FROM MY RIVAL  
  
**Peppa Pig:** I'll send The Chompy Fucker, Dream.  
  
**Piss Man:** don't you fucking dare  
  
_[Peppa Pig added The Chompy Fucker to Loser Squad]  
  
__[Dadza removed The Chompy Fucker]  
  
_**Dadza:** Overruled.  
  



	11. Eat Pant, Conar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes, this fic jumps everywhere and drops useless plot points  
> am i going to fix it?  
> no, because this is crack
> 
> take my funnies

_**6:11 AM  
  
**_ _[Dadza added Grain to Loser Squad]  
  
_ **Dadza:** He stole the school's doors, and now the school board is on my ass. Get him.  
  
 **Piss Man:** OOOOH SWEATER BOOOOY  
  
 **Grain:** WAIT WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN IT WAS FOR HERMIT CHALLENGES PLEASE  
  
 **Dadza:** Give me my fucking doors, Grian, or I'll body you next.  
  
 **Piss Man:** IRL Manhunt but I hunt down Grian  
  
 **Grain:** I'm not fit enough for this please  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** Grian.  
  
 **Grain:** y-yes  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** Go to The Woods. The blockade is still there, they'll help you with Dream.  
  
 **Piss Man:** Betrayed by my own lover </3  
  
Wait don't you hate the cops  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** If its to see you suffer? I'll tolerate them.  
  
 **Grain:** Wait Phil who gave you my contact  
  
PS Techno you have an IOU from me now  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** Pleasure doing buisness with you.  
  
 **Dadza:** Cleo.  
  
 **Grain:** OH SHES SO DEAd  
  
 **Dadza:** I want my doors, Grian.  
  
 **Grain:** OK OK YOU'LL GET THEM BUT IM SUSPENDED RN  
  
 **Dadza:** I won't hesitate to use The Chompy Fucker.  
  
 **Piss Man:** I'LL TOLERATE THE CHOMPY FUCKER IF ITS TO HUNT DOWN GRIAN  
  
 **Grain:** WHAT PLEASE NO IM NOT A FIGHTER  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** How'd you kill Dream in MCC then  
  
 **Grain:** DUMB LUCK  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** HELLO GROIN  
  
 **Tubbee:** Hello Grani!!  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** Dream lost? L  
  
 **Gogy:** L  
  
 **Snapchat:** L  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** L  
  
 **Piss Man:** techno i'm going to snap your neck  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** I'd love to see you try, darling.   
  
**Grain:** what  
  
 **Piss Man:** malfunction  
  
 **Gogy:** HANDS OFF MY MANS BITCH  
  
 **Snapchat:** WOO YOU GET EM GOGY  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Techno have you been taking e-dating classes  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** Stfu  
  
 **Grain:** Enemies to lovers 60k slowburn?  
  
 _[Peppa Pig removed Grain]  
  
_ **Peppa Pig:** Anyone else want some last words?

 **Cuck Man:** you want some schlattcoin?  
  
 _[Salmon Fucker removed Cuck Man]  
  
_ _[Sanic added Cuck Man to Loser Squad]  
  
_ **Sanic:** Let him speak  
  
 **Cuck Man:** Thank you  
  
now  
  
Eat Pant, Conar  
  
 _[Sanic left Loser Squad]  
  
_ **flatty patty:** oh fuck no  
  
 _[flatty patty added Sanic to Loser Squad]  
  
_ **Sanic:** so close to freedom  
  
 _ **2:13 PM  
  
**_ **Piss Man:** why the fuck is The Chompy Fucker and it's girlfriend getting married in the middle of science _ **  
**_  
 **Salmon Fucker:** More importantly, why is Mr. Aphmau allowing it  
  
 **Piss Man:** Techno that could be us <3  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** No. Perish.  
  
 **Piss Man:** But you were all over me earlier  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** Earlier I was a different man.  
  
 **Piss Man:** :(  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** :)  
  
 **Gogy:** maybe sapnap will marry you  
  
 **Snapchat:** im a taken man, george


	12. [Image sent: HotPockets.png]

_**2:34 AM  
  
**_ **Piss Man:** ok im tired of this fuckin nickname  
  
 _[Piss Man changed Piss Man's name to Dreamy]  
  
_ **Tubbee:** Dream wat are u doin awake??  
  
 **Dreamy:** Heelies :)  
  
 **Troll:** HEELIES?!  
  
 **Dreamy:** Y'all want some?  
  
 **Tubbee:** Yeah!!!  
  
 **Troll:** Cuont me in!  
  
 **Dreamy:** Aight, favorite color and shoe size?   
  
we gettin whole new shoes to match the heelies  
  
 **Tubbee:** greeen!! and i'm a 9 :)  
  
 **Troll:** blue! 8  
  
 **Dreamy:** How does the child have bigger shoes than you  
  
 **Troll:** STFU  
  
 **Dadza:** SLEEP.  
  
 _ **8:20 AM  
  
**_ **Furry In Denial:** Hey Dream  
  
 **Gogy:** _[Image sent: Heelies.jpeg]  
  
_ Dream how the hell are you gliding across the floor like that  
  
 **Dreamy:** Heelies :)  
  
 **Tubbee:** Helies :)  
  
 **Troll:** Heelies :)  
  
 **Gogy:** HOLY FUCK  
  
DREAM WHAT THE FUCK  
  
 **Furry In Denial:**????  
  
 **Gogy:** HE JUST BODIED TECHNO AND HEELY'D AWAY  
  
 **Peppa Pig:** Dream.  
  
 **Dreamy:** :)  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** techno are you gonna do what I think you're gonna do  
  
 _[Peppa Pig changed Peppa Pig's name to Technoplane]  
  
_ _[Technoplane added The Chompy Fucker]  
  
_ **Technoplane:** He's currently in the west science hall. The windows are locked. Get him.  
  
 **Dreamy:** TEHCNO TECHNO NO I FUCKING HATE YOU ILL FIGHT YOU PLEASE  
  
 **The Chompy Fucker:** :3 Bite   
  
_[The Chompy Fucker left Loser Squad]  
  
_ **Dreamy:** techno you are so fucking dead  
  
forget the flirting  
  
i want your head on a platter, pig boy  
  
 **Technoplane:** Come and get it then, green man  
  
 **Gogy:** techno i have warned you about coming near my mans, you aren't canon  
  
 **Dreamy:** aww gogy jealous <3  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** I assume that terrible screeching is Dream?  
  
 **Snapchat:** No I'd recognize his screams anywhere  
  
 **Dadza:** Dream what the fuck did you just do  
  
its gone feral  
  
 **Dreamy:** Heelies :)  
  
 **Snapchat:** HOLY SHIT DID THE CHOMPY FUCKER JUST CRASH INTO A WALL  
  
 **Tubbee:** Helies make it go crazy!  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** TUBBO COME HERE I WANNA RIDE THE HEELIES  
  
 **Troll:** _[Image sent: TommyTubboHeelies.jpeg]  
  
_ **Nikichu:** Instead of piggy-back riding like in the photo, Tubbo is now carrying Tommy bridal style.  
  
 _ **10:56 AM  
  
**_ **Cuck Man:** Wilbur, love of my life  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** What do you want, goat man  
  
 **Cuck Man:** I had a hot pocket just now  
  
 **OI:** OH FOR FUCKS SAKE NOT THIS AGAIN  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** I don't think I've had a hot pocket, what is it  
  
 **Cuck Man:** its  
  
its like, bread  
  
with meat & cheese in the middle  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** that sounds like a pizza folded over  
  
 **Cuck Man:** kinda, yeah, but its like, completely encased  
  
and you put it in the microwave  
  
 **OI:** can you SHUT THE FUCK UP  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** what kinda price are we talkin about  
  
for hot pockets  
  
 **Nikichu:** minx are you ok  
  
 **OI:** THIS IS LIKE THE THIRD FUCKING TIME  
  
IT GETS WORSE  
  
 **Cuck Man:** like, a couple dollars   
  
you find em in the freezer aisle  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** oh, so you defrost em? or do you just pop em in there  
  
 **Cuck Man:** they defrost in the microwave  
  
 **Dadza:** wilbur, first the sand, now hot pockets?  
  
 **Technoplane:** I've learned not to question his eating habits  
  
 **Cuck Man:** they go in for like 2 minutes, and you've got a delicious salty treat  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** salty?  
  
 **Cuck Man:** yeah, you get some like, pretzel bread  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** I don't think Phil's ever gotten those  
  
 **Dadza:** Yes I have, you've just never eaten them  
  
 **OI:** is NOBODY going to stop them??  
  
 **Nikichu:** they're just ignoring us

 **Salmon Fucker:** is there like, different flavors?  
  
 **Cuck Man:** yeah, but I like the pretzel bread the most  
  
you get like a good 15-16 bites  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** woaaaah  
  
so they're quite big  
  
do you ever get the issue where like you put two in and they get caught  
  
 **Cuck Man:** yeah yeah all the time  
  
the biggest issue tho, is that with two of em, they dont cook thoroughly  
  
 **OI:** HOW IS IT GETTING WORSE  
  
 **Cuck Man:** usually what I do is I make the first one  
  
and then when I'm about halfway done  
  
I pop in the second one  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** oh thats a battle plan  
  
i appreciate that  
  
 **Nikichu:** ok change of topic  
  
 **Cuck Man:** nono lets talk about hot pockets some more  
  
 **Technoplane:** _[Image sent: HotPockets.png]  
  
_ **OI:** WHAT THE FUCK TECHNO  
  
 **Technoplane:** I aide in the chaos, and then I take my leave.  
  
 **Cuck Man:** my least favorite flavor is the ham and cheese  
  
the ham just isnt tasty and the cheese gets everywhere  
  
the best flavor is the pretzel bread  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** i'm gonna ask a question because I can't quite imagine this, but  
  
 _[OI removed Salmon Fucker]  
  
_ _[Cuck man added Salmon Fucker]  
  
_ **Salmon Fucker:** would it be possible to have a pineapple based hot pocket

 **Cuck Man:** i wouldn't be interested if there was  
  
 **OI:** STOP  
  
 **Cuck Man:** employees come up to me in the freezer aisle and they say  
  
schlatt its limited to two  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** oh no  
  
 **Cuck Man:** and i look them in the eyes and i say  
  
Hey listen, buddy. You make 9 bucks an hour. If you come any closer to me and try and stop me from getting some Hot Pockets i'm gonna spit on you or some shit  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** that makes sense  
  
 **Cuck Man:** nobody who makes 9 bucks an hour is gonna talk to me like that, ya know?  
  
can't you see im the big man here?  
  
so i just take as many as I like, pay for it, then leave and pop em in the microwave  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** ok, but then as a power play, after you've eaten them, you go straight back and get like, four or five  
  
 **Cuck Man:** cuz they've restocked it  
  
 **Dadza:** I'm done  
  
 _[Dadza removed Cuck Man]  
  
_ _[Dadza removed Salmon Fucker]  
  
_ **Dadza:** They're in timeout for an hour.  
  
 _ **11:50 AM**_ **  
  
** _[Tubbee added Salmon Fucker]  
  
_ _[Tubbee added Cuck Man]  
  
_ **Salmon Fucker:** so, schlatt, tell me more about hot pockets  
  
 **Cuck Man:** gladly  
  
 **OI:** OH FOR FUCKS SAKE


	13. pics or it didn't happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i feel so bad for people that read this crackfic, then read my other fics and get fucking WHIPLASH

_**3:22 AM  
  
**_ **Dreamy:** One sec  
  
 _[Dreamy changed Dreamy's name to TheBetterDream]  
  
_ **TheBetterDream:** Sup  
  
 **Dadza:**?   
  
**TheBetterDream:** This is Drista, Dream's sister  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** WHAT IS UP DRISTA  
  
 **Technoplane:** Uh, hello?  
  
 **TheBetterDream:** Techno I'm your biggest fan  
  
 **Technoplane:** uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** no I'M techno's biggest fan  
  
 **Technoplane:** nvm I like you  
  
 **Dadza:** It's 3 am, go to sleep  
  
 _ **9:47 AM  
  
**_ **Gogy:** I like Drista more than Dream :)  
  
 **TheBetterDream:** He wanted me to tell you he's crying  
  
He's not, just moping like a dog  
  
 **Snapchat:** Drista give Dream a hug for me  
  
 **TheBetterDream:** _[Image sent: DreamVSFork.jpeg]  
  
_ Does this count?  
  
 **Technoplane:** Go for his eyes  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** GO FOR THE EYEEEEEEEEES  
  
 **Snapchat:** man I love saturdays because I get messages like these  
  
 **Nikichu:** Why is Dream being assaulted with a Fork?  
  
 **TheBetterDream:** Not just A Fork, The Fork.  
  
 **Tubbee:** Fork!  
  
 **flatty patty:** hey Drista say fuck  
  
 **LANGUAGE:** HEY  
  
 **flatty patty:** oop, time to skidaddle  
  
 **Gogy:** Drista how is he doing  
  
 **TheBetterDream:** _[Image sent: ScreamingDream.jpeg]_  
  
 **Gogy:** Ah, lovely  
  
 _ **10:08 PM  
  
**_ **TheBetterDream:** IRL manhunt but it's Dream chasing me down because I have his phone  
  
 **Snapchat:** pics or it didn't happen  
  
 **TheBetterDream:** _[Images sent: RunningDream.jpeg, LeapingFence.jpeg, AngryDream.jpeg, TheFork.jpeg]  
  
_ he's gaining  
  
I think this is the enDNLKWLKN  
  
 **Snapchat:** Drista?  
  
 **Gogy:** 80 percent sure shes fuckin dead  
  
 **TheBetterDream:** FUCKING FINALLY  
  
 _[TheBetterDream changed TheBetterDream's name to Dreamy]  
  
_ **Dreamy:** She decided it would be fun to nearly POKE OUT MY EYES and then run off  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** F's in the chat for Drista  
  
 **Nikichu:** F  
  
 **Snapchat:** F  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** F  
  
 **Technoplane:** F  
  
 **Dreamy:** I hate you all  
  
 **Dadza:** F  
  
 **LANGUAGE:** F  
  
 **flatty patty:** F  
  
 **Cuck Man:** F  
  
 **Tubbee:** F  
  
 **Ckarl:** F  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** F  
  
 **Dreamy:** why is this still going   
  
**Jack Manifall:** F  
  
 **OI:** F  
  
 **Troll:** F  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** F  
  
 **Oreo:** F  
  
 **Sanic:** F  
  
 **Pirate Gay:** F  
  
 _ **12:56 PM  
  
**_ **Gogy:** Sorry I passed out  
  
F  



	14. confetti :)

_**1:58 PM** _

**Dreamy:** I was added to the other schools gc and now I can't fucking escape please  
  
 **Technoplane:** That seems like a you problem  
  
 **Dreamy:** Technoooo :(  
  
 **Technoplane:** I do not see it  
  
 **Snapchat:** Don't worry dreamie-poo i'll save you   
  
**Dreamy:** <33  
  
 **Snapchat:** <33  
  
 **Gogy:** <3  
  
 **Dreamy:** HEARTS FROM GOGY YEAAAAAH  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** Wilbur where the fuck are you  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** i have some explosives here tommy  
  
very nice explosives gifted to me by Dream  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** you better fuckin not  
  
 **Technoplane:**??  
  
 **Dadza:** EXPLOSIVES?!  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** :)  
  
 _ **2:12 PM  
  
**_ **POGCHAMP:** Wilbur I hear you talking, put the mini bombs away  
  
 **Dreamy:** Tommy i'm gonna have to step in. Wilbur's with me.  
  
WHAT THE FUCK  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** did I say that out loud  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** BAHAHAH  
  
 **Dreamy:** NEVERMIND TOMMY TAKE HIM I DON'T FUCKIN WANT HIM  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** ??? Wilbur what did you do??  
  
 **Dreamy:** WILBUR JUST SCREAMED 'YEAH DADDY DREAM' I DON'T WANT THIS  
  
 **Dadza:** Looks like he's your kid now  
  
 **Dreamy:** NOONONO PHIL PLEASE  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** Hello grandpa  
  
 **Snapchat:** Hey Daddy Dream can you get us some milk  
  
 **Gogy:** Please Daddy Dream  
  
 _[Dreamy left Loser Squad]  
  
_ _[Salmon Fucker added Dreamy to Loser Squad]  
_  
 _[Salmon Fucker changed Dreamy's name to Daddy Dream]_  
  
 **Daddy Dream:** You're a dead man walking, Wilbur.  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** NOOOO I don't wanna be Dream's sonnnn  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** you don't have to come with  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** we're brothers, wilbur  
  
i'm following you where ever you go  
  
 **Daddy Dream:** NONONONO  
  
 **Technoplane:** Nope. No thank you. Not happening. Nope.  
  
 **Daddy Dream:** I just wanted to enable Wilbur's terrorism, not become a father  
  
 **Technoplane:** Father Dream?  
  
 **Daddy Dream:** No, stop that train of thought right there-  
  
 **Gogy:** Forgive me Father Dream for I have sinned  
  
 **Snapchat:** Sorry Daddy Dream I've been naughty  
  
 **Daddy Dream:** In today's video I've coded it so I fucking kill everyone here  
  
 _ **8:26 AM  
  
**_ **Daddy Dream:** AYO- wait  
  
 _[Daddy Dream changed Daddy Dream's name to Dreamy]  
  
_ **Dreamy:** AYO WHO THE FUCK DREW A MEXICAN FLAG AND A SMILEY FACE ON MY MASK  
  
 **flatty patty:** :)  
  
 **Dreamy:** You are fucking dead  
  
I'm gonna speedrun your fucking funeral  
  
 **flatty patty:** lol ok  
  
 **Dreamy:** Techno  
  
 **Technoplane:** No, I'm staying neutral in this  
  
Unless you wanna call in that favor  
  
 **Dreamy:** :)  
  
 **Technoplane:** :)  
  
 **flatty patty:** wAIT WAIT WAIT I PROMISE ITS WASHABLE WAIT PLEASE  
  
 **Dreamy:** YOU LEFT THE MARKERS, THEY WERE PERMANANT.  
  
 **Technoplane:** You have a 10 second headstart, Quackity  
  
 **Dreamy:** Imma vlog it  
  
Out to kill a man and get content  
  
 **Technoplane:** Put me in there, I want clout  
  
 **Dreamy:** All you want is clout  
  
 **Technoplane:** All I live for is clout and the thrill of the hunt, Dream  
  
 **Troll:** and?  
  
 **Technoplane:** confetti :)  
  
 **Dreamy:** Techno i'm more important than confetti  
  
 **Technoplane:** Mmmm, nah, you're not  
  
 **flatty patty:** YOU TWO ARE RUNNING NEXT TO EACHOTHER WHY ARE YOU TEXTINGKNRL  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** For the content, obviously  
  
 **Cuck Man:** ignore him, he's doing a 4th wall type bit


	15. Whale facts :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer I know none of the whale facts wilbur said and i cannot do my research rn so suffer

_**1:23 AM  
  
**_ **Salmon Fucker:** Hey  
  
 **Cuck Man:** what  
  
 **Living Rainbow:**?  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** did you know that whales can actually sing opera  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** What?  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Actually, humpback whales are the best opera singers, and orcas are the worst opera singers  
  
 **Cuck Man:** wilbur, darling, what the fuck  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Whale facts :)  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Schlatt where are yoWENOIW  
  
 **Cuck Man:** The Cuck Shed has another victim  
  
 _[Image sent: CuckShedEret.png]  
  
_ _ **8:57 AM  
  
**_ **Dadza:** Schlatt how the fuck do you get people out of the Cuck Shed  
  
 **Cuck Man:** You Don't :)  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** please its been like 7 hours im starving  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Father  
  
 **Dadza:** Yes?  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Do you want a whale fact  
  
 **Dadza:** Uuuuh, sure?  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Sperm whales can actually lay eggs they just choose not to  
  
 **Technoplane:** Wilbur, please shut up  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** _@Nikichu_ I'm being bullied  
  
 **Nikichu:** Don't bully Wilbur he's trying  
  
 **Technoplane:** Simp  
  
 **Gogy:** Simp   
  
**Dreamy:** Simp  
  
 **Dadza:** Simp  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Beluga Whales are natures biggest simps  
  
 **Jack Manifall:** wilbur can I get a whale fact  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Narwhals are avid tobacco chewers  
  
 **Jack Manifall:** wow thanks  
  
 **flatty patty:** Schlatt get Eret out of the Cuck Shed this instant  
  
 **Cuck Man:** no  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Fuck it someone get me my 7'' boots I'll kick my way out  
  
 **Cuck Man:** DO NOT  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Then get me out  
  
 **Cuck Man:** no  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Hey wilbur go give schlatt some whale facts, Tubbo go get me my boots please :)  
  
 **Tubbee:** Okay!!! :DDD  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** :) whales  
  
 _ **11:38 AM  
  
**_ **Furry In Denial:** Schlatt stop screaming so loud  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Schlatt come back i have more whale facts  
  
 **Cuck Man:** FUCK YOU  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Tubbo where are you i'm still stuck :(  
  
 **Tubbee:** im sorry :(((  
  
 **flatty patty:** _[Image sent: TheBoots.jpeg]  
  
_ These the ones? (niki let me in dw)  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Yup!  
  
 **flatty patty:** alrighty!  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** Did you know that Grey Whales can actually eat humans and consider it a delicacy  
  
 **Technoplane:** Wilbur I will cook you alive  
  
 **Snapchat:** is that cannibilism?  
  
 **Dreamy:** no I don't think so  
  
 **Dadza:** WILBUR STOP SCREAMING INCORRECT WHALE FACTS AND GET TO FUCKING CLASS  
  
  



	16. uhoh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am slowly dying

_**12:48 Pm  
  
**_ **Living Rainbow:** CAN I PLEASE BE LET OUT OF THE CUCK SHED  
  
QUACKITY WHERE ARE MY BOOTS  
  
 **flatty patty:** :) i am tall now  
  
 **Ckarl:** Are you saying you were short before  
  
 **flatty patty:** fuck you  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** IM STILL IN HERE YOU KNOW  
  
 **Dadza:** I'll come and get you, one moment

 **Living Rainbow:** Thank you mr.minecraft   
  
_**1:12 PM**_  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Quackity. What is your fifth period?  
  
 **flatty patty:** UUUUUUUUUHHHHH  
  
 **Nikichu:** It's Mr. TDM, if I remember correctly.  
  
 **Cuck Man:** yeah it's TDM  
  
 **Nikichu:** How do you know?  
  
 **Cuck Man:** whilst researching how to get away with major tax fraud, i may or may not have stalked my beloved to get his full day schedule  
  
 **flatty patty:** What.  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** While I hate to inturuptt this moment, I have arrived. Hand over the boots.  
  
 **flatty patty:** what do you meAjKWBEOIUEwb  
  
 **Cuck Man:** his screams sound so lovely  
  
 **Nikichu:** wait wait //tax fraud?//   
  
explain?  
  
 **Dadza:** It's Schlatt.  
  
 **Nikichu:**...True.  
  
 _ **4:50 PM  
  
**_ **Tubbee:** >:)  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** uhoh  
  
 **Tubbee:** we ddnt start the firE  
  
IT WAS ALWAS BUNRIN SINCE THE WOLRDS BEEN TURNNIN  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** UHOH  
  
 **Dadza:**??  
  
 **Tubbee:** B I G C R I M E  
  
 **Nikichu:** Arson?  
  
 _[Image Sent: TubboFire.jpeg]  
  
_ **Dadza:** TUBBO NO  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** ITS BIG CRIME  
  
 **Nikichu:** hello mr minecraft  
  
 **Tubbee:** HAHA!KBJLS  
  
 **Nikichu:** _[Image Sent: Tubbodied]  
  
_ Another day, another victim gets bodied by Mr. Minecraft  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** F  
  
 **Cuck Man:** F  
  
 **flatty patty:** F  
  
 **Dreamy:** F  
  
 **Technoplane:** hah small child gets wrecked, L  
  
  
  
  



	17. cuckpocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> 
> Awesamdude | Sam Nook

_**12:49 AM  
  
**_ **Cuck man:** heheheheheeheheehhehheheehhheehehehehehehehhehe  
  
 **Furry in Denial:** oh no.  
  
 _[Cuck man added Sam Nook to Loser Squad]_  
  
 **Sam Nook:** The nickname was smth for Tommy, ignore it  
  
 **Cuck man:** :) how is it coming along sammy boy  
  
 **Sam Nook:** Almost done with the last one.  
  
 **Furry in Denial:** i am so scared  
  
 **Cuck man:** Cuckpocalypse :)  
  
 _ **5:10 AM  
  
**_ **OI:** WHY THE FUCK WAS THERE A CUCK SHED IN THE FUCKING F L O O R  
  
 **Sam Nook:** Ah, you found one.  
  
 **Sanic:** Schlatt did you really get Sam to build you various cuck sheds  
  
 **Cuck man:** cuckpocalypse :)  
  
 **Tubbee:** Cuckpculysp?   
  
wait  
  
sorry-  
  
 **Cuck man:** Cuck-poc-a-lypse  
  
 **Tubbee:** Cuck poc a lyps?  
  
 **Cuck man:** There ya go!  
  
 **Tubbee:** YEEAAAAHHEH :DDDDDD  
  
 **Cuck man:** you are adorable, i'm adopting you

 **Dadza:** McFuckingScuse me?  
  
 **Cuck man:** tubbo is my son now, i will be teaching him in the ways of Schlattcoin  
  
 **Tubbee:** :DDD  
  
 **Dadza:** No you are not.  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** AH FUCK IM IN A CUCK SHED HELP  
  
 **Sam Nook:** where are you Tommy, i'll go help  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** Sam Nook please help me :(  
  
 **Sam Nook:** i've decided you are my son now  
  
 **Dadza:** FUCKING WHAT NOW?!  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** take him, we dont need him  
  
 **Technoplane:** ^^  
  
 **Dadza:** Sam you will NOT touch my son, and neither will you, Schlatt  
  
 **Sam Nook:** Schlatt.  
  
 **Cuck man:**?  
  
 **Sam Nook:** Help me take down Phil and i'll build you even more cuck sheds  
  
 **Cuck man:** count me in  
  
im bringing Tubbo  
  
 **Sam Nook:** pog  
  
 _ **9:39 AM  
  
**_ **Tubbee:** _[Image sent: PhilGetsBodied.jpeg]  
  
_ **Dreamy:** The Bodyer becomes the Bodied  
  
 **Sam Nook:** MISTAKE HE FOUND A CUCK SHED  
  
HES ALREADY SHOVED SCHLATT IN  
  
IM NEXT  
  
HEKLWNLW  
  
 **Tubbee:** _[Image sent: Sam &SchlattCuckShed.jpeg]  
  
_ **Dreamy:** He takes his revenge  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** dadza never dies  
  
 **Technoplane:** if you parody my catchphrase again you will experience death


	18. :pensive:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo supremacy. Send tweet

_**5:55 AM  
  
**_ **Oreo:** good evening  
  
 **Dadza:** Ranboo what are you doing up its 5 am on a saturday  
  
 **Gogy:** yeah what are you doing up  
  
 **Oreo:** what are you two doing up, on x-games mode or smth??  
  
 **Dadza:** I'm sorry, what?  
  
 **Oreo:** whatchu gon do, whatchu gon do  
  
 **Technoplane:** please tell me he isn't in another vine phase  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** Miss Keisha?   
  
**Tubbee:** Miss Keicha?   
  
**Oreo:** oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead  
  
 **Cuck man:** :pensive:  
  
heh  
  
:penisve:  
  
 **Oreo:** look at all those chickens  
  
 _[Image sent: Tommy &TubboClimbing.png]  
  
_ **Dadza:** WHY ARE THEY CLIMBING THE BLEACHERS- HOW DID THEY GET TO THE SCHOOL- WHY ARE YOU AT SCHOOL ON A FUCKING SATURDAY  
  
 **Oreo:** Tubbo go YEET  
  
 **Sam Nook:** which one of them is being yeeted, me and schlatt need to know  
  
 **Oreo:** Tubbo fly like bee :)  
  
 **Cuck man:** NOT MY SON  
  
 **Dadza:** HES NOT YOUR SON  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** Tubbo go yeet?  
  
 **Oreo:** like lawnmower, he fly  
  
 **Green Bitch:** go nyoom  
  
 **Oreo:** x-games mode  
  
 _ **8:49 AM**_ **  
  
Dadza:** Ranboo. Tubbo. Tommy.  
  
 **Oreo:** can't, i'm hibernating  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** can't, im currently stomping on technos potatoes  
  
 **Technoplane:** excuse me WHAT  
  
 **Tubbee:** I'm leargin how two scam !!!1!1! :DDD  
  
 **Cuck man:** He's a quick learner  
  
 **Dadza:** how the- Ranboo, you can't hibernate  
  
 **Oreo:** says who  
  
 **Dadza:** Science???  
  
 **Oreo:** Actually, that is incorrect. Because according to the encyclopedia of KJWENFKJNK-  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** hey ranboob before you start hibernating do you wanna start a ice cream shop  
  
 **Oreo:** JKENKJ#NFKJNR YES  
  
 **Snapchat:** oooo ice cream?  
  
 **Dreamy:** techno wanna go get ice cream  
  
 **Technoplane:** no<3  
  
 **Dreamy:** well i have a very nice looking plaque here, would be a shame if it were ruined  
  
 _[Image sent: TechnoBedwarsPlaque.jpeg]  
  
_ **Technoplane:** You- fine.  
  
 **Dreamy:** <3  
  
 **Technoplane:** i'll fruit ninja that heart  
  
 **Dreamy:**?  
  
 **Technoplane:** slice :)  
  
 **Dreamy:** what the fuck is that noise.  
  
Techno.  
  
Techno, answer mE  
  
TEHCNO  
  
 **Technoplane:** :) Technoplane :)   
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *trips* oh gods oh fuck- *sbi & rivalstwt favoritism falls out of my pocket* nnonononononono-


	19. No<3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lil late valentines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been posting chapters as much, I've been drawing n such!! (Psst psst you should follow @ _trashy_washy_ on insta go do it shhhh this isnt a self promo what do you MEAN)

_**12:45 PM  
  
**_ **Dreamy:** george  
  
 **Snapchat:** gogy  
  
 **Dreamy:** george my beloved  
  
 **Gogy:** What  
  
 **Dreamy:** will you be my valentines  
  
 **Gogy:** No<3  
  
 **Dreamy:** going dark dhmu  
  
 **Snapchat:** dream join my harem of valentines  
  
 **Ckarl:** do it!!!  
  
 **flatty patty:** it'll be very funny if you do  
  
 **Dreamy:** uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh techno quick be my valentine  
  
 **Technoplane:** Can't hear you I'm too busy beating a small child in farming capabilities  
  
 **Dreamy:** fuck shit fuck you techno  
  
 **Salmon fucker:** i have my valentines  
  
 **Dreamy:** bragger  
  
 **Dadza:** Wilbur.  
  
 **Salmon fucker:**.  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** wilbur my door is always open if you need to escape  
  
 **Dadza:** Did you steal another live salmon?  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** i will not be seperated from my wife during valentines day  
  
 **Dadza:** I'm going to stab you.  
  
 **Cuck man:** don't stab the love of my life  
  
 **Nikichu:** wilbur, return the fish  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** :(  
  
 **Technoplane:** Tommy, Wilbur needs advice on women.  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** nONONONNONNNONO ERET ERET SAVE ME SAVE ME  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** quickly now, before the child comes  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** DID I HEAR ADVICE ON WOMEN  
  
 **Dreamy:** hah   
  
**Snapchat:** _[Image sent: PoutingDream.png]  
  
_ **Gogy:** lol  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** OOOOH WILLLBBAAAA  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** Wilbur, Wilbur you don't have time to get the fish-  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** EITHER SALLY COMES OR I DIE BY THE GREMLINS HAND  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** you're wasting your chance  
  
wait. nO  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** .  
  
I am not throwing away my  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** shot  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** i am not throwing away my  
  
 **Tubbee:** shot  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** im just like my country  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** im young, scrappy  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** and hungry  
  
 **Tubbee:** and jm not thruwin away my  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** SHOT  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** shot  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** shoT  
  
 **Dadza:** Wil I'm putting you back in the orphanage, lets go  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** waIT DADZA NO IM SORRY I'LL PUT THE FISH BACK  
  
  
  



	20. Sand, Father Minecraft.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nerf war or smth idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK BABY  
> forcing myself to write boogie woogie woogie
> 
> Go check out Why are we still allowed here? ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/28801206/chapters/70632711 ) by @SkyTheAlmighty   
> do it cowards  
> also, check out the discord they made for that fic! https://discord.gg/6HgbSpxk  
> anyways

_**10:35 AM  
  
**_ **Dadza:** _@Dreamy @POGCHAMP @Tubbee_ **  
  
**Why aren't you three in school right now?  
  
 **Dreamy:** nerf war at the other school  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** ^^ btw tubbo im coming for you, traitor  
  
 **Tubbee:** im sorruy :(((  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** no you fucking aren't  
  
 **Tubbee:** :3  
  
 **Gogy:** dream you are so incredibly hot n sexy with that nerf gun  
  
 **Dreamy:** aww thanks <3  
  
 **Snapchat:** i would be hotter and sexier  
  
 **Ckarl:** vouch  
  
 **flatty patty:** vouch  
  
 **Technoplane:** _@Dadza_ i'm usually no snitch but wilbur's eating sand again  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** THE CRUNCH, TECHNO, THE CRUNCH  
  
 **Technoplane:** wilbur stay away from me  
  
Wilbur  
  
Wilbur Soot Minecraft, you stay the fLJKWNBLJKEWNK  
  
 **Dadza:** Wilbur.  
  
 **Technoplane:** Sand, Father Minecraft.  
  
 **Dadza:** Give techno his phone back.  
  
 **Technoplane:** What if I denied? I am showing my dearest Twin here the Wonders of Sand.  
  
 **Dadza:** That's it, i'm stabbing you.  
  
 **Technoplane:** You can try, father, but I have a symphony to finish.  
  
 **Cuck man:** he's pouring sand on an unconscious techno behind the cafeteria  
  
 **Salmon Fucker:** snitches cant stop me from giving up my enamel for lent and eating crunchy wunchy sand  
  
 **Dadza:** Found you  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** deadbur  
  
 **Tubbee:** he's a gbostg!!!!  
  
 **Gogy:** ghostbur  
  
 **Nikichu:** ghostbur  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** ghostbur  
  
 **Sam Nook:** phil, killing your children isnt great parenting  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** sam nook :D  
  
 **Sam Nook:** tommyinnit :D  
  
 _[Salmon Fucker changed Salmon Fucker's name to Ghostbur]  
  
_ **Ghostbur:** ghostbur :D  
  
 **Dadza:** stop being dramatic wil  
  
 **Ghostbur:** whos wil, this is ghostbur :D  
  
 **Tubbee:** GHOSTBURB!!!  
  
 **Dreamy:** ghost man  
  
 **Ghostbur:** dweamy  
  
 **Dreamy:**.  
  
 **Snapchat:** dweam-chan owo  
  
 **Dreamy:** fuck you  
  
 _[Gogy changed Dreamy's name to Dweam-Chan owo]  
  
_ **Dweam-Chan owo:** i'm commiting mass murder tonight.   
  
also someone made a song about me?? wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmm twins wilbur & techno supremacy <33
> 
> also, please give me interaction ideas! I'm running low on them. 
> 
> If i don't do your suggestion, i'm very sorry!
> 
> thank you for reading!!


	21. Dweam-chan >/////<

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> did i make Eret, Niki & ranboo siblings?? yes. Did i also make schlatt & puffy siblings??? yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chatfic club supremacy

_**8:09 AM  
  
**_ **Oreo:** bro i hate middle schoolers so much  
  
specifically eighth graders  
  
like they dig into your worst fears and insecurities n rip them out to the surface  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** wh  
  
 **Tubbee:** So True !!!!  
  
 **Oreo:** 'hey look at that high waisted man with the feminine hips'  
  
NOOO THATS WHAT IM SENSITIVE ABOUT  
  
 **Ghostbur:** did you just make a fucking john mulaney reference  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** did ghostbur just swear  
  
 **Ghostbur:** shit uh  
  
Hello!!! I am Ghostbur, yes, mmmmm blue  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** sigh  
  
head in hands  
  
 **Dadza:** wil did you just steal a sheep and dye its wool????  
  
 **Ghostbur:** FRIEND !!!! :D  
  
 **Oreo:** friend??  
  
 **Ghostbur:** Friend!  
  
 **Oreo:** animal  
  
 **Tubbee:** mmmmm friend  
  
 **Dadza:** sigh  
  
 **Oreo:** what if i told you i was baking a cake  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** baking???? count me in   
  
**Nikichu:** Denied  
  
 **Oreo:** niki i am so sorry for this atrocity  
  
 **Nikichu:** what  
  
what did you do   
  
ranboo why the fuck is the kitchen blockaded   
  
**Living Rainbow:** ranboo let us in  
  
 **Oreo:** im sorry but i must kill god with this and i cant have any witnesses  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** is THAT where my m&ms went?!  
  
 **Nikichu:** why the fuck do i smell cleaning supplies  
  
 **Oreo:** goodbye  
  
 **Nikichu:** ranboo?  
  
ranboo what is that smell  
  
ranboo answer us  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** im getting the boots and kicking down the door  
  
 **Technoplane:** keep us updated  
  
 **Furry In Denial:** ^^  
  
 **Cuck man:** hey  
  
 **Pirate Gay:** do NOT, schlatt   
  
**Cuck man:** wanna see puffy do the renegade  
  
 **Pirate Gay:** NO  
  
 **Dreamy:** yes  
  
 **Nikichu:** yes  
  
 **Snapchat:** yes  
  
 **Cuck man:** _[Video sent: PuffyRenegade.mp3]  
  
_ **Pirate Gay:** FUCK YOU  
  
 **Nikichu:** btw ranboo baked his phone into a fucking cake  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** tastes pretty good  
  
 **Nikichu:** YOU ATE IT?!  
  
 **POGCHAMP:** can i have some  
  
 **Living Rainbow:** yes  
  
 **Tubbee:** can i habe some  
  
 **Nikichu:** sigh  
  
yes  
  
 _ **2:39 PM  
  
**_ **Sanic:** vroom  
  
 **Cuck man:** vroom  
  
 **Dweam-chan owo:** vroom  
  
 **Gogy:** Dweam-chan >/////<  
  
 **Dweam-chan owo:** going dark dhmu  
  
  
  
  


**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [SHINY? changed the chat name to Hell](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785096) by [Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You/pseuds/Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You)
  * [Why are we still allowed here?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28801206) by [SkyTheAlmighty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyTheAlmighty/pseuds/SkyTheAlmighty)




End file.
